The Great Fart Archive · Est. 2026
The internet’s most personal sound library.
Real people, their portraits and their recordings. Browse a worldwide, carefully catalogued collection of human flatulence for free, or license a specimen for your next project.
Free to listen · Adult contributors only · Every upload reviewed by a curator
The Classification System
Six classes, formally described.
Every specimen is reviewed by a curator and assigned to one of six classes by pitch, duration and texture. Measurements are taken at one meter from the source.
The Collection
Meet the contributors.
Search by name, city or class. Press play on anyone, open a specimen for the curator’s notes, and applaud the ones that deserve it.
The Gift Shop
Take a specimen home.
Listening is free forever. Packs and licenses support the people behind the sounds, who earn 70% of every sale and keep all of their tips.
Specimen packs
Download-ready sets for personal use. Add a license to publish them.
Every license covers the audio recording only. A contributor’s name, portrait and story are never included unless they sign a separate release, which is arranged through an Extended license.
Where the money goes
Contributors are paid first.
Card processing comes off the top. Of what remains, the contributor receives 70% of a pack or license and 100% of a tip. Choose a purchase to see the split.
Based on Stripe’s standard rate of 2.9% + $0.30 per card payment, on a single-item order. Pack revenue is split evenly among the contributors in the pack.
Contribute
Add yourself to the archive.
- Upload a portrait and a recordingA shoulders-up photo and up to 10 seconds of audio. One person per specimen.
- A curator reviews itWe check consent, audio quality and the photo, then assign a class. Usually within 48 hours.
- You go on the wallYour specimen gets an accession number and a public page you can share.
- Earn from the Gift Shop, if you opt in70% of every pack or license that includes your recording, plus all of your tips, paid monthly.
House rules
- Contributors must be 18 or older.
- Record only yourself. No one else may be seen or heard.
- Portraits are shoulders-up and fully clothed.
- You can withdraw your portrait and recording at any time.
Sponsorship
Sponsor a wing of the museum.
The archive stays free because partners support it. Placements appear only on curator-approved pages, never beside unreviewed uploads.
Specimen of the Day
Your name on the featured specimen that every visitor sees first, refreshed each morning.
Gallery wing
Present an entire class, such as Flatus tonitrualis, across its filter view and every card in it.
The Weekly Release
The only sponsor slot in the Friday newsletter, which sends subscribers five new specimens.
partners@followmyfart.comQuestions
Visitor information.
The short version: listen for free, license what you publish, and only ever upload yourself.
Are these real recordings?
In the live archive, yes. Every specimen is recorded by the person in the portrait. In this prototype the contributors are fictional and each sound is generated in your browser from its measurements.
Who can contribute?
Adults 18 and over, recording only themselves, with no one else visible or audible. Every upload is reviewed by a curator before it goes public.
Can I use a sound in my video?
Personal use is free, including group chats and ringtones. Publishing on monetized channels needs a Creator license. Ads, apps and products need a Commercial license.
Does a license include the contributor’s photo?
No. Licenses cover the recording only. Using someone’s name, portrait or story requires a separate release signed by that contributor, arranged through an Extended license.
How do contributors get paid?
Contributors who opt in to the Gift Shop earn 70% of each pack or license sale after card processing, and 100% of tips after processing. Payouts are monthly.
Can I remove my specimen?
Yes, at any time, from your contributor page. Licenses already sold stay valid for the recording, but your portrait and name are removed everywhere.